Stage 1: Determination
This is the most optimistic stage of sleep deprivation; you see the pile of work in front of you, realize the incredible sacrifice you have to make to get it done, and think Bring it on. Nothing can stop you at this point in the night. Willpower and plenty of caffeine and/or sugar will easily get you through. Plus, if you never fall asleep you won't be as tired the next day; that's how it works, right? So you buckle down and set out on your all-night mission.
Stage 2: Fatigue
So it's been a few hours and you are starting to slow down a little. You realize how long the night is going to be, and you are beginning to regret your decision of staying up. Your eyes are starting to droop, you've been yawning non-stop for the last 10 minutes, and everything has started to look like it would make a pretty decent pillow; but you refuse to give in this easily. A large pot of coffee is made, maybe you splash your face with a little cold water, and you carry on.
Stage 3: Euphoria
The caffeine must finally be kicking in! You are so incredibly awake and aware and HAPPY!! Everything is awesome and beautiful and you have totally forgotten your brief stage of regret; who needs sleep?! You could take on the whole freaking world if you wanted to... but luckily for it, you have homework. A lot of homework. A lot of homework that you should probably get back to, but it seems like such a waste; everything is so much more interesting now than it normally is! You feel like dancing or running, anything but sitting still and working. During this stage, it is more likely that you will end up jumping on a chair and singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" than doing anything productive. Or coherent.
....
You should probably stay away from all human interaction during this stage. All the happiness you felt earlier has passed, and now you just hate everyone and everything around you; They are all big fat stupid-faces, and can't they see that you are trying to concentrate on your work?! Be it your mother asking how you are doing, the ridiculously slow microwave cooking your Hot Pocket, or one of your feet getting in the way of the other, everything is against you and it's really starting to tick you off. In my experience, there is often a lot of yelling, hitting, and intense glaring involved in this stage. There are also some hallucinations in there somewhere... (you could have sworn you saw an naked elderly gentleman trying to climb up the wall out of the corner of your eye, but you look back to see nothing out of the ordinary.) Feelings of betrayal, hatred, and insanity abound; this is a highly unpleasant stage... For everyone.
Stage 5: Bizarre Hunger
You have now come to terms with the fact that everyone and everything sucks, and you no longer have the energy to acknowledge it; what you do want to do is eat. All of a sudden, you are so ridiculously hungry that you don't even care what it is that you are eating. You take the first dozen or so items that you see in the fridge, somehow combine them into something that is somewhat edible-looking, and inhale it.
Stage 6: Weepiness
This is the stage where your body finally starts to break down from lack of sleep; often this results in you curled up in the fetal position in a corner somewhere and crying... pretty much a complete and total nervous collapse. You are feeling sorry for yourself and are making it very clear to the people around you. Unfortunately, by this point you have upset pretty much every single one of these people, so they will not sympathize no matter how pathetic you are. That won't stop you, though; you transform into a weepy ball of self-pity and frustration and don't let up until you are so ridiculously tired that you can' t be bothered to do much of anything anymore. Until then though, you look pretty pitiful.
Stage 7: Temporary Narcolepsy
Your body has had enough of this no-sleep nonsense, and has decided to take little naps whenever it pleases. Although that might be all well and good for your body, it can cause some pretty awkward situations for you. Perhaps you were talking to someone, eating, spacing out, etc., and all of a sudden your body just totally shuts down, leaving whoever you're around to wonder whether or not to get an ambulance. They call your name a few times, maybe shake you, and after a couple of minutes you wake up wondering why this person is right in your face. Or if you are by yourself and discover you don't remember the last half hour... maybe you were abducted by aliens...? Of course there is also the chance that everything is so hazy and mashed up at this point that you don't even notice and just continue with whatever you were doing before your mini-coma.
